Panda Crap Tea

Chinese Business Man Selling Panda Crap Tea for $200 Per Cup

YA’AN, China – It seems as if the rare Chinese Panda might have a new use other than attracting tourists to zoos around the world. A Chinese businessman is growing a specially blended green tea in the panda’s poop and he plans on selling it for more than $200 per cup.

An Yanshi, the master tea man, grows the tea in mountainous Ya’an in Sichuan province. His home is near the panda breeding centers located in Ya’an. He uses tons of Panda Crap for the process.

The first batch of Panda Crap tea will come in bags of 50 grams that will cost some 22,000 yuan ($3,500) each, a price An said makes it the world’s most expensive tea. Most people use about 3 grams of tea per cup.

An said that the price was so high because he planned on donating some of the money to an environmental fund. He said future batches would be less costly.

“I thank heaven and earth for blessing us with this environmental panda tea. I just want to convey to the people of the world the message of turning waste into something useful, and the culture of recycling and using organic fertilizers.”

The fertilizer made the tea a health drink, An said. Pandas don’t eat a variety of food, they only eat bamboo and their bodies only absorb a fraction the nutrients from the plants.

It also helps that when there are Pandas around there is no shortage of their poop.

An said,

“They are like a machine that is churning out organic fertilizer. They keep eating and they keep producing feces. Also, they absorb less than 30 percent of the nutrition from the food, and that means more than 70 percent of the nutrients are passed out in their feces.”

Do you think Panda Crap Tea is really worth $200 per cup or is this another giant scam?