Nationwide Spike in Theft of… Tide?

There’s a new crime wave taking the nation by storm. It ain’t stealing smartphones, it has nothing to do with drugs, and it can’t be considered a hate crime. It’s Tide theft. Yes. Tide. As in the laundry detergent.

Reports are saying that the laundry detergent is stolen so often that some stores in certain cities are forming “special task forces” and coming up with security procedures to push back against Tide-specific losses. “So… uhm… why Tide?” you may be asking.

Apparently it’s because Tide is just so widely used, popular, and recognizable. It comes with a pretty high retail price-tag, and on the black market, it can fetch between $5 and $10 a bottle. It’s also ridiculously hard to trace: “There’s no serial numbers and it’s impossible to track,” says one detective. “It’s the item to steal.” One police department called it “liquid gold.”

One thief allegedly stole $25,000 worth of Tide over a time-span of 15 months before he was finally caught. Most detergent-thieves use the same method: they load up a cart with a bunch of bottles and b-line to the exit where a getaway car awaits. Some police and retailers are calling “B.S.” on the story: household goods like Tide are indeed shoplifting targets, but authorities are saying Tide-theft hasn’t risen in their states (where the story was reported). “We are not experiencing a ‘wave’ of Tide thefts,” a CVS director told FOX News, but he did admit that they put special alarms on Tide.

I just realized I need to do laundry… I’ll leave you with this weirdness.