Morrissey Homosexual

Morrissey Gives Incredibly Sick Reason Why He Can’t Sign A Fan’s Autograph

Morrissey has long been renowned for his big mouth and uncanny knack of being impressively offensive, but if reports are to be believed, the foppish crooner from the dimly lit alleyways and avenues of deepest, darkest Manchester upped the stakes recently when a fan had the brass necked audacity to ask Mozza for an autograph.

Morrissey fans are a rare breed, the more their chubby, cheerful-faced idol ignores them, the closer they get. Their devotion to the man known to the British court system and New York Dolls fan club as Stephen Patrick Morrissey, is religiously fanatic.

As such, modest Morrissey is inundated everywhere he prowls and growls like a street-walking pussycat, with request after request for autographs.

And Morrissey being Morrissey, when he’s not sweating his guts off on the stage and warbling away like a butchered pig to his worshipful brood, likes to keep fan interaction to a minimum. Consequently, the charming man doesn’t do autographs with the same enthusiasm you’d expect a washed up, publicity seeking celebrity from the 1980s to harbor.

Take the case of one Morrissey fan who allegedly spotted the melancholy millionaire at LAX in Los Angeles and asked for an autograph. Naturally the aging singer declined, but the reason Morrissey allegedly gave was particularly strange, or as Mozza’s sternest critics might suggest — incredibly sick.

“I met Morrissey tonight but unfortunately his bodyguard would not allow me to take a picture and when I asked Morrissey for his autograph he told me he couldn’t because he has ebola… typical Morrissey answer… still exciting though.”

Spin reports that they have no way of confirming if this interaction is true, but if so, they are pretty confident that Morrissey does not have the disease which has killed thousands.

“If he did, then his presence at one of the busiest international airports in the world would probably be a bigger concern than not signing something for one fan. So rest assured — Morrissey is Ebola-free. He’s just kind of a tool.”

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