All Snooki Wants (After) Christmas? Boob Job And $500k Engagement Ring

Jersey Shore Star Nicole Polizzi, better known by her household-handle “Snooki”, has two big things on her mind: a $500,000 monogamy-rock from boyfriend Jionni Lavalle… and a boob job. Maybe that’s three things.

We’ll give her credit on her weight loss. Jersey Shore’s hobbit is down to 102 pounds, and for what? Vanity? She says commitment to health and exercise, as well as saying “no” to the bottle more often than not. Good for her. But all of this self-improvement can’t be totally vanity-free, can it?

Not too long ago, she tweeted that she wanted “knockers” like Jersey Shore gal-pal Jennifer Farley (JWoww), and according to reports, this is happening “Very soon. Very soon.”

“I hope in the next couple of months,” she said. “”They’re a good size now, but I want them like this when I’m not wearing a bra.”

JWoww is even going to hook Snooks up with her boob-doc for the surgery.

“I’m definitely taking her to my doctor,” she said. “I’ll go in and get mine redone to make her feel better.”

Well ain’t that sweet.

The two besties are currently looking for a house together (which will come with a spin-off show) and have hinted at settling down (which will probably also come with a spin-off show).

Snooki has at least been trying on engagement rings, and the one that caught her eye came with a price-tag of $500,000 dangling from it. Boyfriend-of-one-year Jionni Lavalle made her take it off immediately:

“Jionni made me take it off,” she admitted. “He was like, ‘Don’t even think about it.’ It was like this big and sparkly and amazing ring. I just want a big one.”

Don’t we all?

In case the only things you learned from this article were the real names of two Jersey Shore cast members, here’s a quick summary:

Snooki looks like this now:

She wants to look like this soon:

If she successfully convinces Jionni to buy her that rock, she’ll be back to:

– before you know it.

So what do you think of all this Snooki news? The weight loss? The boob job? The ring? I feel like the 99% all over again.