Wardrobe Malfunction Ruling Upsets Professional Outrage Queens

Believe it or not, there is still hand-wringing occurring over the Janet Jackson boobage flashing scandal of like six hundred years ago.

Actually, it occurred back in 2004. Which is still like technically a hundred years ago. But it’s still being played out in courts and among outrage groups who are concerned about the lasting emotional carnage of a bare breast being shown on television for a fraction of a second nearly seven years ago.

Today a federal appeals court ruled that CBS should not have been fined more than half a million clams for the fleeting titty image, which occurred during the Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake performance of the track “Rock Your Body.” Somewhat unfortunately for everyone associated with the incident, the flashing coincided with Timberlake’s recitation of the lyric, “I’ll have you naked by the end of this song.” The incident garnered a disproportionate amount of attention and outrage and coined the term “wardrobe malfunction,” which was the official explanation for why the incident went down the way it did.

As the appeal ruling came in today, one of the loudest squeaky wheels- the Parents Television Council- released a statement decrying the injustice of a breast going unpunished on television. President Tim Winter whined:

“Today’s ruling reaches the level of judicial stupidity and is a sucker-punch to families everywhere. In rendering an opinion it wishes to foist on the nation, the Third Circuit has chosen to ignore the law, the facts, Supreme Court precedent, the intent of the Congress and the will of the American people…”

He continued:

“How can nudity and a striptease in front of 90 million unsuspecting TV viewers not qualify as indecency? We’re not talking about content that aired after 10 pm in front of 90 million adults. Each and every year the Super Bowl broadcast draws the highest viewership ratings of the year, including tens of millions of children and families.”

I wonder if Mr. Winter is as concerned with proposed cuts to children’s healthcare programs in many states, a circumstance that stands to do actual harm to millions of children across the US, or if he’s just happy if they don’t see boobs on TV?

Were your kids traumatized by Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction? Should CBS be punished?