New WWF ‘Save The Panda’ Video Appears To Show Giant Panda Masturbating

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Hmm, I think today would be a good day to watch a giant panda masturbating,” well, you’ve come to the right place. For some reason that no one has yet been able to figure out, the World Wildlife Federation has released its latest “Save the Panda” video, and it depicts exactly that.

Perhaps, the WWF was thinking that now people will be more motivated to help preserve the dwindling worldwide population of pandas when they see that pandas are pretty much like everybody else. But whatever the organization had in mind, the panda video shot in April and released earlier this week has rather predictably resulted in snickering responses from the media and viewers of the suddenly viral video.

The video was shot by panda researchers in China’s Sichuan region and depicts a lone, giant panda first munching on a snack of bamboo shoots and then engaging in what appears rather unmistakably to be a solo sexual act.

According to Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper, the WWF, an organization dedicated to raising awareness of endangered species and the importance of wildlife preservation, is mortified by the worldwide response to the video and wishes it could take it back. But, as has been proven time and time again, internet content of any kind is like toothpaste. Once it gets out of the tube, well…

With an estimated 1,600 pandas remaining in the entire world, keeping the species from becoming extinct is a matter of extreme urgency. Nature does not make it any easier because pandas have a notoriously difficult time making new pandas.

Female pandas are in heat only three days out of the year — which may explain why this male panda feels the need to take matters into his own paws, so to speak — and efforts to breed pandas in captivity are rarely successful. It appears that while in captivity, the female panda loses her sexual desire even for those rare three days.

Perhaps the behavior exhibited by the panda in this video, however, will give scientists a clue as to how to begin the process of artificially inseminating female pandas or at least how to obtain the raw material to do so.

Another problem pandas have with breeding is also on display in this video — the panda diet. Bamboo, which is the panda’s staple food, is not a good source of nutrients, meaning that pandas tend to be quite lazy. And when they’re not lying around doing nothing, they’re eating.

In fact, pandas spend about 12 hours per day stuffing themselves with bamboo just to get the nutrition they require.

With a panda spending most of its life either eating or sleeping, it’s not surprising that the panda sex drive can get a little low. Though not in this panda, apparently.