Andre Johnson Has A Johnson

Rapper Andre Johnson: My Whacked-Off Johnson Is Porn-Ready, Now

A few months after Wu-Tang Clan affiliate rapper Christ Bearer (real name: Andre Johnson) cut off his penis and jumped from a Los Angeles balcony in a drug-addled suicide attempt, he’s now so fully functional that he’s ready for porn.

Johnson was approached outside his Long Beach barber shop by a video camera-toting reporter from TMZ early in the week, and seemed ready for another round of unpredictable craziness.

After some initial touting of some upcoming releases from his rap group, Northstar (and lying about still working with parent rappers Wu-Tang Clan), Johnson is asked about whether drugs were involved that nutty April evening, something police have already confirmed.

“…It was PCP involved when I jumped out the window,” he says, flailing around as if on stage. “Kids, say no to drugs…”

Then TMZ asked Johnson what many have wondered, post-amputation: “We heard they were able to reattach everything down there. Does everything still work?” Johnson replied: “….Does it work?!? Can Chris Brown dance? Can Kanye West rant? Can Jay Z fight off a trick?”

Not only is Johnson’s johnson fully functional, he said, “I’m doing pornos, too.”

More rambling ensues, then he sends a shout-out to all porn producers to hit him up on Twitter and Facebook. “Vivid, get at me,” he says, just before making to pull out whatever is left of his junk now.

The cameraman cut away.

The whole video could have been wrapped up a lot more quickly were it not for all of Johnson’s PCP-ish gesturing. See for yourself:

It’s a whole bunch of hype man, but don’t be surprised when said porno hits the scene. According to TMZ, Vivid boss Steven Hirsch confirmed that he’s interested in working with Johnson, as long as he’s still, indeed, got the goods.

It’s going to be (ahem) hard for anyone to think past the April suicide attempt, though, with so much reporting left to be done concerning the incident. For instance: This is the audio recording just released by TMZ of the 9-1-1 call made by one of Johnson’s crew, who’d just witnessed him leap from the balcony. It’s horrible; try not to listen:

And for the record: Legendary Cleveland rap group Wu-Tang Clan (ahem) severed ties with Johnson right after the drug-addled amputation. According to Gawker, Wutangclan.com posted a public shunning of Johnson in mid-April: “Parental Advisory: Don’t Believe The HYPE. This Mother F**ker Ain’t Got Shit to do with the WUTANG Brand.”

[Image courtesy of Twitter/@WuBearer]

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