Soul Instructions: Celebrity Essence

Jars Of Star Souls For Sale: Justin Bieber To Drake To Jennifer Lawrence

What makes a celebrity’s soul more valuable than anyone else’s? Well, there’s this: You can actually sell celebrity souls in jars on Etsy at $15 a pop, while the rest of us can’t even seem to give our souls away.

The brainchild of Etsy peddler Molly Gates, an artist from Minneapolis, Minnesota, the online store of celebrity essences just opened for business, a few years after Gates got the idea from seeing a listing in the newspaper from a man trying to sell his own soul for $1,000.

“I wanted to do something similar for the Minneapolis College of Art and Design’s annual art sale,” she just told MTV, “but instead of selling my own soul I’d sell celebrities’ instead. I also wanted to be able to see the soul in the jar, just so that customers would know that they’re getting a legit product and not just a $15 mason jar.”

Her first transaction, Justin Bieber’s soul for $7.62 (pictured below), was made at the college’s art sale in November. Coincidentally, that’s just before the brunt of Bieber’s most notorious activities kicked off. Hm.

Justin Bieber's Soul

So what’s available these days? She claims to have the freedom of access to capture and sell just about any celebrity’s soul, except Kanye West. “I don’t want to talk about what happened with Kanye,” she told MTV.

And sorry: The souls of Jennifer Lawrence and Beyonce just sold at $15 each. However, oddly enough, two jars of Ryan Gosling soul recently sold at the store, so there’s a chance that Gates is willing to dilute the original product for the sake of paying her bills.

Currently on sale are the souls of Drake and Matthew McConaughey. Gates plays up the McConaughey jar like this:

“Is your mantle bare? Perhaps you’re looking for a one-of-a-kind gift for a loved one? Do you just feel the need to own the soul of Matthew McConaughey? No matter your reasoning, I don’t judge. My hobby is reaping souls, and I do it very well. I place each one in a stylish mason jar to keep it fresh and out of trouble. Fear not: This jar does not pose a threat to you or your loved ones… as long as it stays closed.”

On the top of her jars (shown above), Gates provides a similar warning, along with something like an explanation: “The soul residing in this jar is docile while contained. It will wreak havoc if freed.” Open the jar, she states, and “supernatural authorities” will have to intervene.

Though Gates doesn’t share too much about what goes into soul harvesting, preservation, and distribution, she does purport to have “perfected my reaping process over the years, now preferring to wait until my person of interest is asleep. I sneak to their bed, do some hocus-pocus and coax their soul out and into my waiting jar. I label each one and ship it the day following the reaping to ensure freshness.”

[Images courtesy of Etsy/Molly Gates]

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