high elf car

High Elf, High On Acid, Slays Woman’s BMW With Sword

It may sound like something out of World of Warcraft, but for a woman in Portland, Oregon, it became a reality when a high elf slayed her BMW with her sword. And if you are wondering, yes, you read that exactly as it says.

Gawker reported that the Portland, Oregon police responded to a 9-1-1 call around 7 am on Tuesday morning. It came from a woman who believed her car was under attack by a pirate. Instead, it was discovered the armored man was a “High Elf,” or so he claims. We can report that half of that statement is true. No matter how much elven armor the man wears or how many elven weapons he wields, he is never going to be an elf. But he was high… like, high as a kite on LSD.

The man who says he is a “High Elf” is 30-year-old Konrad Bass from Glendale, Oregon. He told officers he took LSD after he identified himself as a “high elf” who was engaged in an epic battle against the evil Morgorth (from Lord of the Rings). He was cited for criminal mischief and taken to a hospital.

The BMW (a.k.a. Morgoth) is reported to have survived the onslaught from the “high elf,” but didn’t leave unscathed. Several puncture marks were damaged upon the car’s “armor.”

It is just amazing that this super-geek larper (a term given to people who like to participate in Live Action Role-Playing) would do something this outlandish. In an interview with Voactive, Bass had this to say:

“I wasn’t in my right mind. I was still rocking my new pair of elf ears. I hopped on her hood and tried to pierce her tires with my master sword. I was trying to prove a point. Don’t mess with a dark elf.”

Konrad is well-versed in elvish lore. He is actually is part of a live action role-playing group, and makes a hobby of fashioning bows, axes, and swords for battle. He is even a fantasy novelist and has a book on sale on Amazon titled Alkaya: The Legend of Empyro. In his free time, the “High Elf” performs in a two-piece band known as Empath. Of course, the “High Elf” does other things during his free time, like shack it up with LSD, stab cars, and marauder around in a costume.

I will say this. The “High Elf” has surely provided a lot of entertainment for many people in social media circles, especially on Twitter.

[Image via Bing]

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