South West Flight Attendant’s Comedy Safety Instructions Goes Viral [Video]

A video featuring a Southwest airlines flight attendant‘s comedic safety instructions announcement has gone viral, after her hilarious routine was uploaded to YouTube.

Mary Cobb, the woman responsible for the hilarious clip, deviated from the usual diatribe announcing at first, “Position your seatbelt tight, low and across your hips, like my grandmother wears her support bra.”

She also then revealed that if they were lucky enough to land near a hot-tub, “everybody gets their very own teeny weeny yellow Southwest bikini. One size fits all.”

“To activate the flow of oxygen,” she continued, warning about what to do if the plane loses altitude, “simply insert 75 cents for the first minute. If you’re traveling with more than one child, pick out the one that might have the most earning potential down the road. Although that plastic bag may not inflate, you are receiving lots and lots of gin. Oxygen that is.”

Cobb then teased, “My ex-husband, my new boyfriend, and their divorce attorney are going to show you the safety features aboard this 737 800 series. Everybody gets a door prize in the seat back in front of you, along with dirty diapers, chewing gum wrappers, dirty diapers, and all the other gifts you leave for us from time-to-time.”

The passengers on-board laughed hysterically throughout her performance, and Cobbs continued to joke, “It’s a no smoking, no whining, no complaining flight. If we do make you that nervous in the next hour and a half you’re more than welcome to step outside. We don’t discriminate at Southwest, we have a special smoking area just for you.”

As she finished, Cobbs self-modestly stated, “That’s what we call very cheap entertainment! Nobody had to pay extra but you certainly don’t get a refund.”

The viral video has already been watched close to 400,000 times since it was published on 12 April, 2014, alongside the caption, “Hilarious SWA flight attendant… wants to meet Ellen & Jimmy Fallon!!”

Users have been quick to praise the woman’s routine, while some revealed that she’s a caring flight attendant too.

EmilyBearFan noted, “Southwest is great. I’ve flown SW a few times and on one flight, the flight attendant sang everything like a Broadway star! It was awesome. On another flight, the flight attendant rhymed everything. Always a great experience with them.”

Another added, “No one ever pays attention to the safety precautions, let alone claps at the end. It was actually worth paying attention to. This was awesome!”