In what’s surely the greatest insult to my favorite. book. of. all. time., Diddy described himself as the New Gatsby (basically) in the horrific new guide “How To. . . Party Like P. Diddy” (read: lots of white, lots of pretension).

It makes me super-depressed to think that he puts so much thought behind it all:

“Wearing white is not only sexy; it means everyone is unified both visually and emotionally. It puts everyone on the same level. At my ‘Harlem To Hollywood’ party [...], the guests – including Victoria Beckham, Paris and Nicky Hilton, Jamie Foxx, Eva Longoria and actor Derek Luke [who plays Diddy in a forthcoming biopic of rap artist The Notorious B.I.G.] – played croquet on the lawn.

I liked the idea of croquet because it’s a very Gatsby-type activity and I take pride in being a Gatsby figure.”

That’s it, my first editions are getting hidden until I can forget about this.