So, this exists: SlobStopper bib for adults

I don’t even know where to start with this, I’ll be honest here.

Yes, it’s real. By car bib, I don’t mean like car bra or car shoes or any other thing we put on cars to anthropomorphize them, like VW Bug eyelashes- this is for humans. And while the Snuggie kind of felt like a death rattle for American civility, putting giant bibs on adults seems to be a whole new level of giving up- and I say that having unabashedly purchased and worn Pajama Jeans.

The SlobStopper- are they just fucking with us now with these names?- actually has the tagline “bibs aren’t just for babies,” which is pretty much absurd because aside from lobster, yes, they totally are. The infomercial, embedded below, just features a guy in a white shirt getting doused with a questionable and unidentified brown substance.

If you’re interested, you can buy the SlobStopper here.