MIA Megan Fox May Light Our Fires But Offers Little Fuel For Flames

A few short years ago, Megan Fox lit up the silver screen as a Hollywood It girl. Megan Fox sizzled in the Transformers franchise, a relative unknown made into the next sultry star, capturing America’s heart and… other parts of the anatomy.

But what has Megan Fox done for us lately?

Apparently Megan Fox didn’t get the memo: once you’re a star, you have an obligation to provide headlines. Sure, you gave us something to talk about when you compared Michael Bay to Adolf Hitler, but that fire burned out and happened years ago. Your life is supposed to be an open book, you can’t expect to have a private life. Earth to Megan Fox, your family is our family, you don’t just get to disappear to have babies and then resurface to act when you choose.

Except that’s just what Megan Fox did, and good for her.

Megan Fox is showing the celebrity world that you can be beautiful and successful and still just be you. You can be an A-lister and still be a mother and a wife. Megan Fox is effectively starving the celebrity gossip grind of any fuel for the Fox fire. She’s already pregnant with her second child with husband Brian Austin Green and the world has barely met her first son, Noah. The most Megan Fox we’ve gotten lately is a cameo in a video game trailer. We know you like your privacy, but seriously, Megan, give us something? You’re reaching Dave Chapelle levels of reclusiveness.

Oh, hubby a little high-spending? That might work. We can do something with that. But how about some baby news? Can we set up a Megan Fox camera a la the National Zoo? Babies love pandas, right? No? Ok… Apparently Megan Fox is going to make the world wait until Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hits theaters in August, 2014, to get our fix.

Congratulations to Megan Fox for dictating the terms of her life as a star and celebrity hermit. Not many actors and actresses get that luxury or are wise enough to do so. But really, Megan, enough is enough. Give us something to work with.